The Protection of Family

Nearly nine out of ten abortions are preventable by lifestyle. Eighty-seven percent (87%) of abortions are performed on unmarried women, according to the CDC, 2021. Nearly nine out of ten (9/10) of all abortions are performed on single women.

According to the Guttmacher Institute (the research arm of the multi-trillion-dollar death industry), more than half of all women who experience an abortion were using "birth control" (aka contraception) when they got pregnant.

Prevention

Contrary to what colleges teach, "having sex" is not a need. Sexual experimentation or expression is not a need. While many Americans have a sexual addiction, estimated near 1 in 10 and effecting as many as 30 million Americans (beginagaininsittute.com, Ed Tilton, Jan 31, 2023), this is not something we need to pass onto our children. Teaching contraception for sexual experimentation outside marriage only increases the numbers of pregnancies and abortions.

Women who would be desperate to end a pregnancy if they became pregnant can choose not to engage in activity known to cause pregnancy. To help reach her goal, a woman may choose not to engage in activities that would be considered unfaithful to her husband if she were married. She may avoid alcohol or anything that could affect her self-control. And choose to avoid social settings that may tempt or put her at risk.

Wisdom is the best prevention.

The same precautions are helpful for men. Just as you don't go to a donut shop when you're on a diet, you don't go to a hook-up bar when you're waiting for marriage. Both men and women can address the heart issue of lust. While it is not a sin to be pregnant (God creates a baby), the act of fornication or adultery is a sin, and the root of that sin begins in lust. Through the power of Christ in overcoming sin, men and women don't have to allow lust to take root or control them. (1 Corinthians 6:9-20)

Contraceptives are not effective in preventing pregnancies. Within marriage, knowing a woman's body (and the six days she is able to conceive) is statistically just as effective as the most effective chemicals without the harmful side-effects and potential consequences. Working with her body naturally, rather than against it, is also helpful when wanting to conceive.

A Man's Issue

Studies show that if at least one man in a woman's life says that he supports her and her pregnancy and will be there for her and her baby, she is least likely to abort. This is why abortion is not just a "woman's issue" but every bit a man's issue. When a man impregnates a woman, he becomes a father responsible for protecting and providing for the family he is creating. He can choose who and under what circumstances he starts a family.

The best safeguard for a woman that a man will be with her throughout her pregnancy and in raising a child is through marriage. And the best way for a man to know that he does not have children who have been lost through abortion is through marriage.

Marriage

Marriage provides a social contract and a personal covenant before witnesses and God of one's commitment to the other person that expands beyond a potential one-night stand or other less honorable motives. A man shows his love and commitment for a woman through the public marriage ceremony. A marriage ceremony is a defining moment that concrete thinkers - such as young teenagers - can understand. It is a concrete, tangible threshold much more reliable than one's feelings in the moment.

While women are capable in every way of living a single and professional life of their choosing, maintaining high standards of morality protects her from potentially devastating consequences - pregnancy being the best of those possible consequences.

The Importance of Men

There is a protective role that fathers and husbands have in women's and children's lives. Men provide a protective barrier between women and children from potential predators, including sex traffickers, rapists, and abortionists. A man can provide financial, emotional, and spiritual stability for his family. And a deterrent to other men who would abuse them.

Whenever a father or husband is not present, women and children are at greatest risk for predators and abuse. And while women often don't like to admit that life could be better with a man, the fairy tale endings and kiss at the end of the romance would tell us otherwise. The dream of marriage and then children does not have to be a fairy tale. There are godly men, and there are godly women, worth finding and waiting for, and then cherishing.

The Success Sequence

According to the "Success Sequence", researched by the Hoover Institution and Institute for Family Studies, if someone finishes high school, secures a full-time job, and then gets married before having children, they have a 97% chance of staying out of poverty. Conversely, 79% of those who do not follow the "Success Sequence" experience poverty. According to researchers, the link holds true across demographics of ethnicities and family backgrounds.

While it may be "too late" for some individuals to follow, we are doing a disservice to young people by keeping this information a secret and expecting them to somehow figure it out on their own without the wisdom and knowledge of adults who could guide them. Trial and error and mistakes, though good teachers, are not helpful to the ones experiencing them and are wasted when they cannot be used to warn the next generation.

The Best Life Possible

Our Creator explains how to have the best life possible. God's admonition to wait until marriage before engaging in an activity that can potentially create children, and once married, to stay committed and faithful within the marriage, protects women and children (and men).

God's plan ensures that a woman has the support of a man when she becomes pregnant, and that a child is conceived and will be born within the context of a committed relationship.

Family

Upon the foundation of marriage, a family is built. Children born into a two-parent family raised by their mother and father who are committed to each other and their children provides the best possible atmosphere a child needs to grow to be well adjusted, resilient, and emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually reach for their full potential.

The greatest pain experienced by individuals occurs when a family unit is broken. When trust and commitment are broken, it is like an earthquake ripping into the foundation of children's lives. The strength and protection of a husband and father for his family, the nurture and comfort of a mother for her children, and the affection and significance of raising children is the gold standard of families that make up healthy communities.

While single mothers, and single fathers, are rightfully to be commended for selflessly and sacrificially raising children, no one person can be both parents. Just as it takes both parents to conceive a child, both a mother and father are important in raising a child. And while that is not always possible, it is certainly important to think about and plan ahead before engaging in activity with someone that could potentially create a child.

Planning Ahead

Helping young people understand the natural progression of conception, pregnancy, and childbirth can help them understand the importance of choosing who they engage in activity that can lead to that progression.

Rather than encouraging youth to try to avoid consequences that will not be avoided, it would be more beneficial to teach them how to avoid the actions causing the consequences. Becoming sexually active isn't just a biological process; it is also emotional, relational, and spiritual. Who one chooses to be sexually active with can affect one's health, finances, and future. Of all the potential consequences of becoming sexually active, the best outcome is a child.

Becoming Parents

From the moment a woman conceives, she is a mother and he is a father. The only question becomes what kind of parents they will be in their child's life.

When the possibility exists to conceive within a loving and committed relationship of marriage, there may be inconveniences and sacrifices to be made, but the panic and crisis that can exist when becoming pregnant outside of a marriage may be averted.

Church

A father of the fatherless

and a defender of widows

is God in His holy habitation.

God settles the lonely in families;

He leads the prisoners out to prosperity,

but the rebellious dwell in a sun-scorched land. (Psalm 68:5-6)

Single mothers with children - including children in the womb - are the widows and orphans of our day, as they are abandoned and without a man in their lives to protect and provide for them. Beyond the family of husbands, fathers, and grandparents, the next layer of safeguard for women and children (and men) is the church.

Through the church, women and children see the examples of godly men loving their wives and children. Children gain role models, and single mothers gain emotional and spiritual encouragement. For the single parent family away from extended family, the church becomes their family.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

(James 1:27)

Compassion in Law

Finally, the last layer of protection God has given for children is the law. After the protection of mothers, fathers, men, and the church have failed them, God has given law to prevent their destruction. The law tells us what society will and will not tolerate.

As a culture, we used to encourage sexual expression within marriage; adultery was illegal, as was sodomy (the law protected people emotionally, not just physically). Mothers and children who were abandoned got special treatment by the court to see that they were cared for.

Prior to "no fault" divorces where the faithful spouse is treated no differently than the wayward one who broke their word of covenant, it mattered who was the innocent party. It mattered who was being abandoned and who was abandoning them.

Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it legitimately. We realize that law is not enacted for the righteous, but for the lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinful, for the unholy and profane, for killers of father or mother, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for homosexuals, for slave traders and liars and perjurers, and for anyone else who is averse to sound teaching... (1 Timothy 1:8-10)

When society started allowing the harmful immorality of the 1960's ("free love" translated "free sex"), law shifted to allow mothers to kill their children before they could be born. Drifting further, we now see what was predicted by previous generations, that children without the example and affirmation of both a mother and father can question their own identity of what it means to be male or female.

The same businesses exploiting pregnant mothers who feel unsure about the health of their baby or their ability to be a good mom are exploiting children who feel unsure about transitioning into adulthood. These women and children need the protection of families to shield them, churches to surround them, and laws to warn and bring justice for them.

1 Corinthians 6

"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who submit to or perform homosexual acts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything. “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food,” but God will destroy them both. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By His power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us also.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Or don’t you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit.

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body."

Faye Barnhart is a Life Affirming Specialist and women's advocate of nineteen years who served four pregnancy care centers in two states including ED/CEO of the largest pregnancy center geographically in the U.S. She served on a federal think tank on the co-occurrence of adult and child violence, was an aid at the state capitol, and is the co-founder and co-proponent of the Colorado Life Initiative. The purpose of CLI is to call the body of Christ to pray, inform, and put compassion into law to protect all children beginning when they are conceived. CLI is a registered issues committee in the state of Colorado led by a state Task Force, more than 300 churches participating, and thousands of volunteers.