Why do women abort? And how can we help her choose life?

Having walked alongside hundreds of women who faced overwhelming challenges while pregnant, several categories of reasons surface as to why women abort, but the individual reasons are as varied as the women themselves.

I have seen women who truly wanted their children who were pressured to abort them. I have seen women who put their own interests above that of their child. I have seen women who didn't think they'd be a good mom. And moms afraid their babies would be unhealthy because of the reading of a sonogram. Or women told their baby would be handicapped. Or that their own health would suffer. Youth have been threatened to be kicked out of the house if they didn't abort. And older women told by husbands that they didn't want more children. I've seen women pressured externally by boyfriends, fathers, mothers, and doctors. And women who were pressured internally by their own expectations, misinformation, and fears.

Often women want to be a mother, just not right now. They've bought the myth that pregnancies should be "planned". She's been conditioned to think preventing her child from being born is the responsible thing to do, rather than continuing to nurture and care for her child being the responsible thing to do. Helping her catch vision for being a good mom for this child has saved more than a few children.

We cannot assume we know the reason a woman would abort. Until we've listened long enough to understand why she would be tempted to abort (it could be a different reason than we think), we haven't listened long enough. Within the context of lovingly hearing her, we can offer her vision and hope to escape the temptation. We lead her in how to turn to Jesus to meet the true need of her heart. And we empower her to address her greatest fear and biggest need in the moment. We can assist her in addressing her fear and her need with tangible resources. And we keep listening, walking alongside her as long as she needs us. Sometimes someone to walk with her - so she doesn't feel alone - is all she needs to choose life.

For those women who are tempted to abort because of money, pregnancy care centers offer up to everything a mother needs to bring her baby home and help after baby is born. Medicaid covers prenatal care, birth, delivery, and often the first year of well-baby check-ups for anyone making less than $75,000. Food programs such as SNAP and WICS can help the grocery bill based on income. Thrift stores and garage sales can help with clothes and furnishings. A family resource center can often help with rent or utilities. There are also groups that raise money for pregnant mothers when there is a poor diagnosis and large medical bills expected. A modern adoption agency is free for the bio mom, able to help financially with anything related to the pregnancy and will often provide professional counseling at no-charge.

The church where she attends can help a single mother get back on her feet. There are work programs, scholarships and grants for school, housing for pregnant moms, parenting classes, and many community and non-profit helps available. There are safe houses and non-profits to help women through sexual assault or who need to get out of an abusive relationship.

Seventy percent (70%) of all women who have abortions identify as Christian. They are sitting next to us in Bible Study. They are attending our youth groups. They are singing next to us on Sunday mornings.

If we as the hands and feet of Christ and mouthpiece for the voiceless don't warn them and tell them the truth to help them avoid the temptation, no one else will. And if we don't offer the grace of Jesus for that very silent cancer of the soul, no one else will. Women will continue to suffer in silence and be coerced and deceived to sin unless we use our voices to speak up.

For the more than half of abortions performed on churchgoing women, we need to speak the truth from our pulpits to warn women away from the temptation while leading others toward healing. Congregations need to know that private sins will be addressed privately, while the creation of a child will be celebrated. She needs to know she has a future and a hope for herself and her baby.

We need to speak words of life. We sow the seeds of life with our words that we want to reap. And we need to retrain ourselves to speak about the preborn infant like the human they are - "he or she", "daughter or son", not "it". Treat parents as mothers and fathers, and children as children, from the moment of a positive pregnancy test. If she is pregnant, there's a baby and she's a mother.

Causing the death of a child is not an option for the believer. Abortion is not an equal option for the unbeliever - there are real and serious consequences that will cause her pain and grief that will intensify over time. She needs to know that. We are there to warn her. Abortion is a sin. Each of us will face judgement for our sin, unless we trust Christ who took the judgement for us.

The solution will involve faith, hope, and love. God promises with every temptation He provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). We just need to look for it.

I have seen moms choose the life of their child above their own. I have seen selfless mothers make sacrifices for their children and reap beautiful reward. I have seen women pressured by doctors to abort who chose life. And mothers choose their baby at risk of losing the man or the parents they love. I have seen pregnant mothers told their baby would be handicapped, or their own health could suffer, leave room for a miracle.

Women and men need to know who in the church they can turn to confidentially for difficult issues such as overwhelming challenges while pregnant, sexual assault, and partner violence. These individuals need to be a part of a team who are dependable, mature, and trained believers

Once a woman is pregnant, no matter what she chooses, her life will never be the same. She will have always been a mother and that will have always been her child. Preaching on the sanctity of marriage, the responsibility of men in the creation of their families, and the preciousness of children is a beginning. Training members of the congregation to confidentially help those who are struggling can be an incredible, life-changing ministry.

To receive training for yourself or members of your church to help women and men choose life for their children, Care Net provides great Christ-centered resources. (These links may also be found on our website in our online Church Toolkit.)

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And let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)