The Beauty of Motherhood

My daughter is a truly great mom. She's one of those mothers willing to give up a lot of "things" to stay home to raise her kids full time with little delegation. From homeschooling to cooking from scratch and preventing her children from eating too many sweets and crackers, to finding free and creative things for them to do to run off extra energy, learn a new skill, or create a craft, she is truly amazing. She also organizes her local pregnancy center baby boutique for new moms, volunteers at church, and makes the best laundry soap I've ever used! I watch with her hair up in a messy bun getting breakfast for the family, nursing the youngest, reading a story, and helping the toddler try to make it to the bathroom in time, as if it were a routine anyone could do. And then she bakes cookies for a neighbor just because God put it on her heart to do it. On Sunday, there are the four little stair steps in their Sunday best piling into their car seats and Sunday School classes. And I watch her children watching her.

And I think about my own Mom. When I was sick, she would lay all night at the end of my bed. She attended every band concert for seven years. She was my editor even after I became one and passed onto me a love of learning. She taught an adult Sunday School class, played the piano for church, and according to my dad, she was the "wind beneath [his] wings" as a pastor. I remember Easter morning wearing gloves and bonnet and shiny shoes and my mother's homemade lavender dress that she wore year after year because she didn't spend money on herself. She was not the domestic kind of mom by the time I became a teenager. She worked outside the home full time to help several of us afford college. She and dad prayed for every one of their children and grandchildren every day at the dinner table until they went to be with Jesus.

And I think about my own days raising children. Working full time as a single parent (sometimes multiple jobs), volunteering for the worship team at church, praying for my children every day that they would beat the odds, and finding "teaching moments" along the way. I used to tell them they were my retirement plan, because I invested everything I had into them. After baths and bedtime stories, at 9 pm, they had to be quiet in their rooms, because I'd fall into bed, exhausted from the day. Some days, I had spent every reserve I had within me not knowing how I could face another day. But in the morning, God's mercies were new again. My children and I prayed around the dinner table, and they heard me pray big prayers and little prayers and they watched my faith and God answer. God was a wonderful Father for them and truly an amazing Husband to me. Now that I have an adopted special needs son, I get to be a mother every day to someone who is the most positive and encouraging person I know. He just likes to talk a lot about nothing and hang out for no particular reason.

Amid loads of laundry and dirty dishes is a super man and popcorn parties... teaching responsibility, a hard work ethic, telling the truth, and saying I'm sorry... seeing God's promise in a rainbow and His handiwork in a snowflake... watching lightning bugs and fireworks in a thunder shower... playing in puddles and sharing with others... "ruining" a tv show by talking about reality in how the real-world works ... learning empathy and compassion for others ... applying Scripture, praying, and seeing God in everything .... loving God and treating others like we want to be treated ... Our children learn how to view the world, overcome challenges, and treat others by watching us. And practicing. And we learn our weaknesses by watching our children. Helping them compensate and succeed from our experience, we also become a better person in the process.

Motherhood is the most selfless love I've ever known, the closest thing to the love of God I think we experience on this earth. Jesus talked about wanting to gather the people of Jerusalem like a mother hen would gather her chicks. God says He sings over us. He compares us often to children. And when we accept Christ as our Savior, He calls us His children, as He adopts us into the family and we become co-heirs with Christ. God promises that even if a mother forgets her infant, He never forgets us. He's written us in the palm of His hand ... in nail pierced hands. He shows us all the time what it means to be a parent, what sacrifice and selflessness look like. What love and tenderness and patience are supposed to look like. He disciplines us because He loves us and lets us face the consequences of our decisions and rewards us when we do well. He always keeps His promises and always tells us the truth so we can trust Him. He shows us how to forgive when we return to Him. And lets us be a part of what He is doing. He reminds us we are loved, safe, valued, and have purpose. We can come with confidence to Him with our requests. He gives good gifts. He is fair. He defends us. When we cry out to Him, even in the middle of the night, even when we know we've blown it, He answers us. When we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. He listens. He communicates at our level. He empathizes with us yet never allows sin because it hurts us. He is the perfect parent.

In a world where too many parents have taught their children that the world revolves around them and that their highest goal in life should be the selfish pursuit of making themselves happy - rather than to love God with all they are and love others - it's no wonder that when those children grow up, motherhood is a lost art to them. Oh, being a mother is only a matter of conceiving a child. But motherhood is taking that responsibility to a level of honor and privilege.

No matter what job I worked and which supervisor I was trying to please, or what grade I needed by which professor, no degree and no career compared to the tears and sweat and immeasurable pain and joy of motherhood. My children's pictures were on every desk as my motivation not to walk off a lame job and put in the hours to see them again. The hugs, the smiles, the giggles, the chatter, the artwork on the refrigerator, the skinned knees, and the funny stories. Life happening.

Today, my grandchildren's pictures are on my computer screen. As wonderful as it has been to be a mother, being a grandmother is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. I see my daughter in her little daughter. And a bit of myself, too. My daughter has never been one to carry a purse, but a little four-year-old carries a pink purse, with little pink ribbons, and a little pink baby doll. And I know she is learning from the best: how to be a mother. There's not a more difficult, more rewarding career in the world than motherhood.

My prayer is that we welcome motherhood again. So much of life happens around the dinner table, in the presence of children, through the eyes of a child, and by being a mom. Not everyone can be a mom, but for those who can birth children, raise children, or teach children, we are investing in the future beyond ourselves that will last long after we are gone. We can't all be super moms, but to our children, our moms are pretty super.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who make the world go round for a child. For the selfless deeds that no one but God sees. May God bless your moments of motherhood, like He has mine, beyond your wildest dreams!

Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Gal 6)

Faye Barnhart is a Life Affirming Specialist and Co-Founder of the Colorado Life Initiative. She was a women’s advocate for 19 years, served four pregnancy care centers in two states, including CEO of the largest pregnancy care center geographically in the United States, and served in a federal think tank on the co-occurrence of adult and child violence. A pre-law student who interned at the state Capitol and in media, she graduated with honors and pursued master's work in Organizational Leadership and a career in Communications for international ministries. She began in the pro-life cause in the 1980’s, raised her children as a single parent, and is now married with an adopted special needs son and enjoys each of her grandchildren, including a grandbaby who needed life-saving surgery at birth. She accepted Christ as her personal Savior and Lord as a small child and continues her walk with the Lord in daily dependence.